fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
