Heybabeimwearingurpanties
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
