Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
