I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize