she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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