I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
