WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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