hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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