I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize