Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
