It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
