Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
