after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think I sprained my soul last night
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize