meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
