I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
