hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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