I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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