Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
