we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
