bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
they're like a gay fantastic four
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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