your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize