dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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