I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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