Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
