i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
