Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
