I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
where does the pee come out of this thing
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
