I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
