Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
