I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
