that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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