He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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