You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
