Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize