My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
