You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
