What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
