he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize