I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize