'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
