Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
