I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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