The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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