i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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