I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
