That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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