The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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