HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
