I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
