Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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