I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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