I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
