My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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