I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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