hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
