Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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