I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
