We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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