i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
