I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
