He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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