I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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