I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
