omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
