WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
