So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
