bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
