do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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